Living and laughing with a disability - cerebral palsy; ordinary life, extraordinary circumstances.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Goodbye Deborah

There was nothing fancy about her, except for her name. Deborah. Never "Deb" or "Debbie", but "Deborah".

Well, she did have a fancy car...a PT Cruiser when they first came out. She was so proud of that car.

She began working for the state of Oregon Child Welfare, East Multnomah Branch, shortly after I transferred there in 1995. I sat by her for a little while. Her first job was inputting in-home services...a simple job. She did it with vigor..."These people need to get paid," I remember her saying.

I knew she could run the place. She had the smarts and the energy. Deborah intimidated some people because penchant for perfection and not being shy to share what she knew. I was not intimidated; she inspired me to work harder at being good. She moved on to Midtown Branch as a IV-E eligibility worker. I am a IV-E eligibility worker as well. Most people do not want our jobs. We piece together financial information, court orders, case narrative, notes and policy. No one sees our work except the occasional auditor. I changed jobs for a couple years in 2002. When I returned to IV-E, I met with Deborah and the meticulous desk manual she had put together for the job. Deborah went on to become a lead worker at Midtown, to being an office manager in Beaverton.

I did not know too much about Deborah's personal life. I know her mom lives down in Lakeview, Oregon. She lived in an older mobile home and was handy at fixing things. She did not have a family of her own, but, being a cat person, active with her neighbors and involved in her church --- she had family.

Late last year she retired. I asked Jeff, a recent coworker of mine who was working for Deborah, to let me know of any retirement party. Jeff said she did not want one. She had some kind of tumor and was very sick.

I received and IM from Jeff on Wednesday letting me know Deborah had passed. We knew it was coming, but it hit me kind of hard. I started to cry. I ran out to the van and gave Jodie a call.

The graveside service at Carus Cemetery, a small country cemetery a mile of the main highway outside of Oregon City yesterday. The service was at 2. I got there at 2 and the service was already happening.

I parked the van and got my walker out. The walker made too much noise on the gravel, so I hustled across to the grass where the moms with babies were. I was really moved. There were a crowd of people saying goodbye to Deborah.

I heard a couple bluegrass hymns and the service was over. By 2:08 the funeral was over. Everyone headed for their cars. I waited for the cars to clear before I started the van. I slowly drove down the road closest to the casket. It was a beautiful white casket with white roses on top.

The sky was blue, the sun was warm, and the country setting was gorgeous. I joined the long line of cars heading down the country road to the highway. As I drove by the Christmas tree farm and watched the guy who was out there mowing brush, my mind wandered...

Coworkers are like family. You work together, break and have lunch together, you talk, you watch the clock together, and sometimes you annoy the
heck out of each other. Bonds form. You don't realize how strong the bonds were until you get the phone call, the email, or the instant message telling you the bad news.

Another thought is to remember how important today is. Tomorrow may never come. Some of us drag ourselves through our daily jobs looking forward to a happy retirement tomorrow. It's not bad to look forward to tomorrow, but take care of today in case tomorrow does not get here.

The crowd around Deborah's casket, the mamas with the babies back from the crowd, the long line of cars...all in tribute to Deborah.

Goodbye Deborah.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I was blog-hopping when I can to this. It's beautifully written--touching. Thanks for sharing.