Am I really disabled now?

Am I really disabled now?

I took my scooter to work this week. I work in support at a state social service office.

Our office is in a strip mall, and was formerly a grocery store. I sit in the front on one side, and the restrooms are in the back on the other side. It is a hike for me.

Four years ago or so I had back surgery for a herniated disk. It took away most of the pain that I have, but no all.

I have cerebral palsy. I free walk, but my gait is very unsteady. Walking distances has gotten tougher for me.

A couple falls of late have increased the pain, hence I decided to take my scooter to work.

People look at me differently when I am on my scooter. A look of pity, a look of sadness. It seemed like a look as if I had lost something.

I'm not sure how much of their reaction was their perception was theirs and how much of it was my self-consiousness reading into it. It made me feel funny that I was even concerned by it.

When I walk, I have trouble with people running into me. I get cut-off a lot. People race in front of me or around me, and I have trouble stopping on a dime. It usually does not upset me---I know people are in a hurry. Sometimes I wonder why people can't just spare me a second so as not to trip me up.

Now, when I am on the scooter, I am not in the way, but rather the other people are. I just need to learn how to navigate around cube-ville better. I slow around the corners and when I pass openings, but now that I am not at eye level, some people run into me.

One thing I don't like is people hoping on my scooter and going for a ride, as if it is a cute toy. I am suprised that people ask...and some just do it. I need to learn to say "No," a word I am not use to saying.

Taking a trip to the copy room and to the restroom requires much less effort these days. It is proving to be very useful at work.

Is this anything worth dwelling on, a new stage in my life? Or should calm acceptance rule?